How to Form a Lifelong Bond with your Horse

Studies are suggesting what many of us have known for years; a horse can be our most trusted, loyal companion. However, just like the relationships we develop with our own friends, it rarely happens overnight.

By cultivating genuine love and passion for your horse(s), and then channelling it into certain areas you can build an effective bond quickly between you and your horse. Just remember, your horse is not stupid and will not be tricked into caring, but by showing a mutual respect to each other you can grow a bond that lasts a lifetime.

Easy, essential rules

Straight away there are some basics that you must know in order to gain the respect of, and then bond with, your horse. These basics are the foundations that you build the relationship with your horse upon.

Leadership

As it is a ‘herd animal’ your horse is innately drawn towards a group dynamic, which involves a leadership hierarchy. Once you and your horse are together, think of it as a two person herd, with your horse assessing where you stand within the group, if it doesn’t see you as its leader, then it will not heed what you say. This is why you need to establish yourself as a leader right away.

Now this doesn’t mean establishing dominance through intimidation or fear, that is not the way to build a bond with your horse. Rather you should show your horse that you are capable of being in-charge and keeping it safe all whilst making a calm horse your priority.

• Walk the walk. When walking your horse be sure to walk straight and tall – display your comfort and confidence. Your horse will not only look upon you as a leader it may also begin to mimic your body language; confidence breeds confidence!
• Talk the talk. Though we cannot know for sure it’s highly likely that your horse doesn’t understand your language and vice versa. What your horse can understand is tone, so the most important language point is how you talk to your horse, rather than what you say. Using a soothing tone and relaxed body language can put your horse at ease which we know encourages bonding.

Embrace the sounds of silence

For those who are worried that caring about their horse might not be enough reassurance is at hand! Research has suggested that just spending time with your horse helps form a bond between you. Going to see your horse and going to sit with your horse, whether in open air or in the stables, tells him/her that you want to be around them for things other than riding and training. It’s a natural behaviour and is appreciated by the horse as it shows you want to be in their company and garners a positive response from the horse. There is no time limit just spend as much time as you are able to in this situation with your horse – there is no such thing as spending too much time with them (at least not from the horses perspective!).

If you ever think that you are being boring, just remember that peace and quiet are two of a horse’s favourite things. By being there but still letting the horse relax you are actually giving the horse a real treat.

Top tips!

1. Take a book with you to read and just while away the hours. Be sure to wrap up warm in the chilly autumn and winter months - that goes for your horse too!
2. Give your horse a toy or two to encourage some quiet bonding between the two of you. There are a few toys a horse will find enjoyable! Simply leave them with your horse whilst you sit doing your own thing (albeit still in your horse’s presence).

Groundwork

Put simply, ‘groundwork’ consists of exercises you do with your horse where your feet never have to leave the ground. It’s a popular, essential training and bonding technique which lets you and your horse become close initially without the need for riding.

Groundwork is usually made up of:

Leading

Leading will show you how strong the bond between you and your horse has become and how far you have still to go. For example, if you drop the reins and your horse walks away from you as quickly as their legs will carry them, then you aren’t quite there yet! If your horse lingers around you, you can see that the bond is progressing well. A popular way of leading and teaching lunges is via the long leading method.

Long leading
This is the process of giving your horse more rein to move freely on its own, whilst you still retain overall control. Think of it as how a driving instructor teaches a pupil, they instruct, but the learner drives the car themselves, until a mistake is made and the instructor can correct it. This allows your horse to become more confident in their learning and leaves them more relaxed and calm. It’s from here that you can begin to use other methods such as circle work.

Circle work

Circle work helps you to calm down a nervous horse or will show a dominant horse that you are the one in charge. The basic method with circle work is to stand central and then encourage your horse to walk around you circularly. Calm horses bond faster, so by employing methods such as circle work (a calming influence on your horse), you are helping speed up the bonding process.

Grooming

 

Most horses love to being groomed; it shows them that you care and it is a very relaxing process. The tactile nature of grooming encourages a closeness between rider and horse which when developed becomes the lifelong connection often seen in riding partnerships. Some horses may not like being groomed, especially if they display any of the following signs of distress:

1. Pricked back ears.
2. Kicking out of the legs.
3. Biting or attempting to bite you.
4. Flinching away from your touch.

If any of the above are displayed in your horse whilst grooming, it could be that they are thin skinned, which will require different equipment and attitude. It is also important that you learn to recognise where a horses sensitive/ticklish areas are, as extra care should be taken when grooming these areas. If a gentler approach is required, it is a good idea to give a soft bristled finishing brush a try, as it is designed to be less intensive on the skin of a horse.

When it comes down to the act of grooming, the first rule is to ensure that you have good quality grooming equipment and a willingness to be thorough. It’s OK to do it at your own speed and to take your time just be sure you are thorough.

Top tips!

• Always brush in the direction of the hair growth.
• Make sure you use good quality grooming equipment and take good care of it.
• Remember to remove debris from your horses hooves every day using a hoof pick.

See grooming in action with our “how to” video below, showing you step by step each part of grooming.

Remember to try the natural approach

With the basics covered, you will be well on the way to having a solid bond with your horse without even trying these. However, remembering and trying out the following advice can help supplement the previous advice and strengthen your success.

Natural horsemanship

Natural horsemanship is an alternative approach to the more out-dated, pain based training methods. Its primary goal is to train and bond with a horse using a ‘firm but fair’ mentality, something which has been shown to attract the respect and fondness from a horse quickly.

There are a few things to consider when on the subject of natural horsemanship:

• The emphasis is always on keeping a horse calm and feeling safe. It has been shown that a horse in this state can bond far quicker with its rider. It does not promote any pain or intimidation to the horse.
• You should try and understand the natural instincts of a horse and how they communicate between each other. No horse is the same, just like us, so pay attention to the specific make-up of yours.
• Be consistent with your techniques and avoid giving any mixed messages to your horse. Clear consistent behaviour makes a horse feel comfortable and unstressed.

And if these techniques aren’t helping you to bond?

Sometimes a bond doesn’t come easily. Each horse has a different personality and reacts differently to each bonding tactic. Signs of a problem include:

1. Indifference to your instructions. If you happen to be trying to interact with your horse and they are clearly not paying you attention or are becoming easily distracted, you can be sure that your horse isn’t impressed with your leadership. Make efforts to frequently and thoroughly cover the tips in this article in an attempt to gain the respect of the horse. Remember, establishing yourself as the leader is vitally important.
2. You haven’t been spending much time with your horse. If you haven’t been to see your horse to just spend time with them (as discussed earlier in this article), then you really need to think whether horse ownership is right for you. To bond with a horse you need to spend time with them in their environment and you need, above all, to make them feel safe and loved. This doesn’t happen if you don’t put in the required time with your horse, and as such you are going to suffer from problems when it comes to bonding.

If you are struggling to bond with your horse then re-read the article and ask yourself some honest questions like:

1. Is my heart really in this?
2. Do I care about my horse, or just riding it?
3. Do I have the time to form a bond with the horse?

If the answer to any of these questions is ‘no’, then maybe it’s time to put the interests of the horse first and move on. However, if you can honestly say that you do have the time and the love to form a bond then redouble your efforts, be stronger in your leadership training and make the effort to spend more time with your horse. It really isn’t rocket science it’s just a commitment between you and your horse, and the results can be very satisfying indeed!

Get to it!

So what are you waiting for?! Get out there and try these tips today and be sure to visit our store should you need any products - the stable-yard is a good place to start for this kind of thing!